She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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