your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
time to smoke my breakfast
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
