So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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