Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
