new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
