what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
