I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
