I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
