ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
