That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
