It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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