We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
