it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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