What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
