Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize