took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
