am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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