I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
