Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She announced her abortion via fbk
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
