peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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