So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
