people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
