maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
