over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
