Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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