I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Quick, to the slutcave!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
