come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
