i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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