We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
