I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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