every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
my poor anus
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
