We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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