So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize