Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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