If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
