My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Someone signed my nipple.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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