I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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