is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
