Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
This baby is an asshole
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
