I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
