I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
