I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
