so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
