At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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