The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
