Porn is love you can see.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
