I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
high people should be assigned attendants
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
