in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
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