Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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