doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
