Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
