how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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