Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
