I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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