your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
