A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
