i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
