and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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