pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
