walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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