I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
