i just had sex bonerless
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
