There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
