I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
