the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
