How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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