Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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