is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
