How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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