It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
