I don't think brook has ever known best
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
