A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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