I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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