No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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