Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
