but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
