You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
