So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
