alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
