I wish life had little blips of pornography
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
